Steps that will help shield your relationship against betrayal.

Obviously, some of the best steps toward affair-proofing your relationship are those that are based on strengthening your relationship and enhancing your intimacy with your partner.

1. Stay connected by touching, talking, going on dates, and sharing fun, laughter, hopes and dreams.

2. Have meaningful, intimate communication on a daily basis.  Tell your partner you love them in many ways.  Ask them which ways are the most meaningful to THEM.

3. Engage in frequent satisfying sexual/physical contact.

4. Explore and resolve conflicts on a regular basis; nothing kills love and sexual attraction like unresolved anger.

5. Go on romantic dates or weekend trips. Hold hands, have lots of public displays of affection.  Express love to your partner in THEIR love language.

6. Find out what the “love-buster” behaviors are in your relationship and stop engaging in them.
Maintaining a healthy relationship requires time. For effective affair-proofing you need to add 5-10 hours of quality time per week for the average marriage to grow and thrive. It is absolutely essential that enough time be given to marriage. It is so easy to find all the reasons that there isn't enough time. But the average AFFAIR consumes 10-15 hours per week and plenty of people find time for that. So which would you choose to spend 10 extra hours per week on? (If you chose “affairs” you are reading the wrong article!)

There is more information available on this topic; if you still have questions not answered by this article, please call Dr. Judith Barnett, the author of this article. She is usually available within 24-48 hrs to answer questions, schedule phone sessions or office visits, or direct you to other resources. Her office phone # is 919-942-0400. She has 2 websites: judithbarnett.com or afterinfidelity.com where you can read more on this and other topics about marriage and relationships.

Remember:  

Research / statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery.

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